On mothering

It's hard.

Not the crazy-busy-exhausted-everybody needs me for something hard.

Although that's hard too.

But, most of the time, I feel like I can do that.

I can take care of them and I can love them.

I can do that.

But they're growing up.

And the real parenting begins.

I have to actually teach them things.

Important things.

And sometimes I think, "What made me think I could do this???"

Noah is 6.

He goes to Kindergarten everyday.

He is smart, curious, inquisitive and he has chosen good friends.

I'm proud of him.

But I can't protect him from everything anymore.

As a mother, you want to save them from every difficult situation - nervousness, embarrassment, hurt feelings, self-doubt, discouragement.

But sometimes you have to watch them struggle - even if it's just with a forward roll in gymnastics class.

Which, after a week of practicing at home, Noah has now mastered : )

He's now perfecting his backward roll and working on front flips.

Way to go Noah!

Alex is 4

She's our wild child.

And she's got spunk (ahem, attitude).

When I told her I was sick of the way she was acting she responded that she was sick of me.

When Paul told her to go to time-out she told him to go to time-out.

When she wouldn't obey me the other day I asked her who was in charge. She said, "ME. I'm 14!" I almost believed her.

4 going on 14.

But she makes up for it.

While working on a fun project together last week she said, "You're not a mean mommy, after all!"

Maybe not the best example but it made me laugh.

She makes everybody laugh.

Yesterday while riding her bike she was yelling out, "Yee-haw! Ride'em bulls! I'm from Texas!"

Seriously, I don't know where she comes up with this stuff, but we love it.

And if you ask her, Alex will tell you she's a "lover."

Loving people is one of her special gifts.

She's constantly telling you how much she loves you (infinity, binity, trinity is the latest phrase), smothering you with kisses, squeezing you tight and snuggling.

You're a sweetie Alex!

Avery is almost 6 months

And a serious mamma's girl.

I've honestly never seen anything like it

And I swear she just came out that way.

When she was born and they laid her on my chest she stared up at me with her big round eyes. Just stared right into mine for the longest time.

In the hospital, when she would lay in her bassinet, she would turn her head and look at me some more.

And then we came home. She was fussy as a newborn and (my mother will testify to this) could only be soothed by me.

Almost 6 months later and all Avery wants is to be held by her mamma.

Not so convenient when I'm trying to get things done.

But...secretly...I kind of like it.

I am her favorite person in the whole wide world.

Every time I look at her, her face lights up and she breaks into a smile.

When she sees me from across the room her arms and legs start pumping a hundred miles an hour.

It's nice to be so loved and needed - especially as Noah gets more and more independent and Alex acts more and more like a teenager : )

3 kids.

All very different.

And very strong.

I may not always know what I'm doing.

I may be scared and overwhelmed by the responsibility on my shoulders.

But oh my goodness I'm glad these kids are mine.