Attack of the Cleveland Ant

The other day Paul the kids and I were driving home from a friends house. We'd just barely left when Paul suddenly swerved and muttered something under his breath (he denies it was a swear word). I screamed and Paul said, "Something bit me!" He was wearing flip-flops and something had gotten his toe. "What was it?" I said. Paul said he wasn't sure and we kept going. Seconds later, another yelp and swerve from Paul. He's swatting at the car mat and trying to drive, I lifted my feet onto my seat and started yelling, and both of the kids started sobbing! "Well what do you think it was?" I said. Paul kept insisting he didn't know, so I of course assumed the worst and said, "Was it a rat?" Paul thought that was the most ridiculous thing he'd ever heard - what I meant though, was a little baby mouse. That could live in a car right? I'm sure it would have plenty of food to survive in our car. So, after bite number 2 Paul pulled over and shook out the car mat - still no sign of the culprit. I kept my feet up on the seat while trying to console our terrified children and Paul got back in and drove with one foot. A few minutes later Paul yelled, "There it is! Give me the wipes! No not one wipe, the whole package!" I'm scrambling and screaming, the kids are bawling all over again and Paul throws the package of wipes at the ant crawling across the dashboard. He missed. Paul and I proceeded to argue about the wipes. I didn't want to give him the whole package because I didn't want bug guts on it. He said, "If I'm doing the killing I get to choose the weapon!" Fair enough. A few more minutes, we've finally calmed the kids again, and out of the corner of my eye I see the ant crawling up my window. Chaos erupts. Paul yelling "Get it!" me screaming hysterically and throwing the wipes package at the window, kids now screaming like they're being tortured. Missed again. We arrived home with no further incidents but we never did get the ant...The next day I drove everywhere with one foot up on the seat. Great parenting, huh? Our kids will probably be afraid of ants for the rest of their lives

This may sound like a ridiculous story to anyone who's never seen a Cleveland ant...those of you who have know what I'm talking about. This picture is the closest thing I could find : )